Saturday, July 13, 2013

Me Vs I

‘OK I don’t know this.’
‘Dude, have a deeper look. Read it properly. Take an intelligent guess. You might just get it right. Remember in school, you were a champ in quiz. Your gut feeling regarding the answers and your intelligent guesses were always right’
‘Hmm. Actually that is right. Wait let me see. Let me read the question. ….OK, now the choices are…..Mmmmmm……..I don’t know head or tail of this! Ok…lemme take a guess…..Answer b) looks right.’
‘No man, look at d). This looks logical.’
‘The answer is obviously between b) and d). But which one? You are saying d). Logical choice you say? What is your logic based on anyways? Bullshit!! On first look it seemed that that the answer is b). Now, is that not gut feeling? When you are analysing, you are not following your heart. I will mark b). Ok Next.’
‘Oh come on. Are you hearing your own logic? I am saying it cannot be b). It makes no sense. Go back and change it, you idiot!’
‘Actually, b) makes less sense. Ok, let’s go back. Mmmm..…Done. I have marked d). Oh God! Please make this the right choice! Now, Next…. Mmmm…What the hell is this? How is anybody supposed to know that? Crap!! What logic do I put here? There is no negative marking anyways. Let me mark something…..Inky Pinky Ponky……

[After 10 Mins and 16 ‘Intelligent Guesses’]

‘Oh man, this is a disaster! I don’t know anything! How is Asheem doing? It will be really unfair if he passes and I fail.’
‘How will he pass?  We studied from the same material.’
‘What about all those technical details which you did not read? Maybe all the questions are from there! Asheem, when he reads, reads with lot of dedication. What if he read all that details?’
‘Bullshit! All these questions are much beyond his comprehension also. Look at him! He he…He is looking at me and laughing! My, My….his eyes are blood red! This is a man under lot of stress! I am sure he is in same state as me. Ha ha….that is a relief! Phew!!!’
‘Idiot! Concentrate on your paper! You might just pass! What if all your guesses are correct? You are applying some logic behind all your choices right? What if some of them get right?’ What if….?’
‘Ok …Ok...I am back….Miracles happen…I believe in miracles….I believe in miracles…’

[After 10 Mins and another 14 ‘Intelligent Guesses’]
‘I know this!! I know this!! I know this!!’
‘Ok relax buddy. Take it easy. Read it properly. Then mark the right choice. Don’t get too excited. Remember your Class 12 Chemistry exam? Don’t repeat that act. This is the first and maybe the only  known question...For heaven’s sake, don’t get this wrong.’
‘Ok ok…enough gyan! I am relaxed only. Do you see me jumping around? This is d). 53 questions. One is sure shot correct. That is like 2%. I need to get another 56%.....through guesses…..Miracles happen….miracles happen…..Shit! Why am I kidding myself? Why don’t I just leave?’
‘Control…control…..concentrate back…concentrate back….’

[After another 15 mins ….Question number 39]
‘Ha ha..this is funny….really funny…..I have not been so clueless since my GATE exam…….Ha ha…. that was even more funny…they did not let me step out till end of 3 hours….come back…concentrate concentrate….’

[Question 42]
‘What is Asheem doing!! Is he trying to bang his head on the table! He he….He is again giving that stupid laugh. I am in same or in even deeper shit than you buddy! Please don’t pass. If he passes, everyone in the team will tease me to death! O god! Please let us both fail!’
‘Idiot look what you are wishing for! If you have to wish for anything, then wish that you both pass.’
‘True…. God! Let us both pass. And you know, if there is any quota, that you consider only ‘x’ number of cases and there is only 1 slot left…then you know…please let it be me….you know, after all I am the one praying to you.’
‘Look what you are doing when you are in trouble. The whole year you don’t remember him…and now you get all religious…..’

[Question 45]
Asheem: ‘how many do you have left?’
Me and I: ’8 more. You are finished?’
Asheem: ‘I am going to fail man. I’ll not even get 20.’
Me and I: ‘Submit it…Let’s see…’

[After he submits]
‘That’s a relief! He failed!’
‘What a sadistic guy you are!’
Asheem: ‘You also submit’
Me and I: ‘I have 8 left’
Asheem:’How long will it take.’
Me and I: ‘2 mins. Wait.’

[After 5 mins]
Asheem: Now how many are left?
Me and I: ‘3. It’s fine if you want to leave..’
Asheem (smiling): ‘No, I want to see how much you get’

[After another 5 mins]

‘Shit 33.96%....But hey!! I got more than Asheem! Yey!! Yey!!’

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